Erin

I do have alot of AWESOME friends.

Erin, who is wicked.
I am really sad that I dont get to see you nearly enough. I really miss seeing you every day, and hearing about every last detail of your life. I miss having lunch with you in the blue building, and I miss watching HSM every weekend.

I just want you to know that I miss you. And even seeing you for 30 seconds the other day was nice. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I am so glad that summer is coming soon. I think we need to hang out more.

Ps. I am going to blog more. I am going to keep you up to date about things.

Know that I love you. Its a pretty big deal.

The wall is down.

My heart is still broken.
I still cry more than once a week about Joe.
I miss him, so much it makes me sick.

He hardly even knows my name.
He doesnt know anything about my life.

He doesnt know that I had to stop working because I emotionally couldnt handle things.
He doesnt know that I had to quit choir, because I caught swine flu.
He doesnt know that I have grown as a person, because he wont even talk to me anymore.

But even knowing these things, I cant turn my heart off. I cant pretend like I dont miss him almost every day.
I was pretending for a while. But I still miss him.

One leg in, one leg out.

So Imma ‘bout to go to sleep last night, and it was a nice day. I didn’t have to work, so I got to sleep in, and watch some of my favourite PVR’d TV shows. It was really nice. And then I had some lunch with Nog, and that’s pretty much been my day. So not a whole lot to be updated. So I figure, lets just get right to the list of awesome. Numbers three and four!!

3) I don’t really discuss the method other people use to help themselves stay comfortable during the night, but I have a few solid things that I do as I fall asleep that keep me comfy for hours. Which is the whole idea really. So. Number thee on the list, is infact, sleeping with one leg under the covers and one leg out. No one appreciates the self ventilation this provides your body. I love it. Its just so overly convenient.

4) Going along with the SLEEP theme today, as that is what I am about to indulge in, I also LOVE LOVE LOVE waking up before my alarm to realize I still have an hour left to sleep. I think it is soooooo satisfying to roll back over and say “take that, universe!!”

So here’s to a good night’s rest, and a good early shift at work tomorrow. Come buy a latte. You’ll love it.

Limbo swings and popcorn hulls

So I've been wanting to post on my blog more often, and I have come up with an idea/ theme. I have compiled an ever increasing list of things I find excellent. And I will post them more often. But still give life updates when they occur. So yes. This is my plan of action. We will begin with numbers one and two today, because that seems like a good place to start.

1) The momentary stillness your stomach creates just before you come back down after a really comfortable swing up.
Most people like swings. Not many people like swings as much as I do. It's a little strange. It's that limbo feeling I really like the split second between going up, and coming back down. I like that feeling. I also just find the sensation of the rocking back and forth really comforting.
So there you have it. Number one on the awesome list.

2) When you finally get the stuck stubborn peice of popcorn hull out of your gums.
I REALLY like going to movies. Mostly for the movie, but it is almost equally as exciting to have theatre popcorn. But... I hate when you get a hull stuck in the middle of the movie, and your gums start to bleed and hurt alot, and you can't really concentrate on the movie, because this stupid thing is poking the crap out of your gums. And all you want to do is get some floss, but all you have are your dull fingernails, and the rest of the movie to be bothered. But, there is a very satisfying feeling when you FINALLY get it out. It's a release of awkward gum pressure. And then you can go back to eating your popcorn. And the process repeats. Try having braces...


Check back for more things on the awesome list later. Good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

Vancouver.

So one of my best friends is moving away on sunday. You could say I am devastated, and it would be a HUGE understatement.

I dont know how to feel about things right now. I have liked him for a very long time, and I wasnt going to say anything, because I knew he was leaving. And somehow word got around to him, and that has made things as complicated and hard as I knew it would.

I dont just like him like that. He is my best friend. Who I can call in the middle of the night, and have a meltdown to. Who makes me laugh until my abs are cringing in pain from laughing so hard. Who picks me up and takes me to midnight movies. Who knows how I feel about pretty much everything.

I have come to the realization that Vancouver is vey far away. Very very far away. And I dont like vancouver very much right now. It has stolen my best friend. It is exactly 1160.5 Km away, which is a 12 hour and 24 minute drive. And I dont drive.

This rollercoaster.

So I can have a really good day one day, and a completely terrible day the next.
Yesterday was really fun. I had such a good day.

And today I cried I was so angry. I can be annoyed, but I dont get angry very often. I achieved that today. Hurray.

I love being on a rollercoaster. I love my job.

Austin

So this past summer, I learned that my brother is the most frustrating piece of crap on earth. I also learned that he is one of my best friends. He is becoming less and less of the frustrating piece of crap and more of the best friend. I really like that I can go to him to chat about things, to play games, to have my back cracked, for a good laugh, when I need someone to cry to, or just someone to sit with.

Austin and I watch a number of shows when we are bored. I quite like this. It passes the time. We also multitask, by playing a game, or chatting while we watch these shows, and I really like this time of the evening. Sometimes we turn on the Family channel and mock the TERRIBLE acting that is on, or we watch Two and a Half Men. Which is a slightly better show. But I really just enjoy his company.

I think Austin knows me better than most people do, which is really cool. He knows the good, the bad and the ugly. And being my little brother, he still knows how to annoy the living hell out of me, and push any button he chooses to. But he is a really funny person, and most of the buttons he pushes he pushes the because he knows I will yell, laugh, call him a douche, and get even in an hour.

What I have come to realize is that now that the school year has started, we both have much less time to stay up late. We have less time for midnight snacks, and one am chats, and two am go fish games. I think it sucks, because I really like hanging with the kid. He's turned out ok. We've both still got some growing up to do. But I generally really like hanging out with him. Which is alot more than what I can say about when we were little. So all I'm asking is that it be summer again soon. Or atleast holidays (without the snow-obviously) so I can hang out with Austin.

Because, deep down, I love the most frustrating piece of crap on earth. He's my brother.